May 2009

Dear Mr. Zander,
I got my "A" because I have freed my inner self and am now able to live life without any inhibitions. I walk with spirit and love in everything I do. I radiate positive energy, which transmits to everyone around me. The people I interact with feed off this dynamism; this in turn fuels my energy creating a never-ending cycle of growth.
I now live a much more unreasonable life. I am constantly seeking opportunities to have and, more often, create fun. I live for the moment. The spirit in my actions inspire and even corrupt others to live with the same vitality.
As a musician, I am now courageous in expressing my passion for life. My music is no longer trapped within the confines of what is written; it is now a living, breathing story, full of spontaneity and freedom. I no longer connect with interesting arrangements of notes on a page. Instead I squeeze out the humanity in the music, like water in a sponge, at every opportunity. I am no longer a musician--I am an artist!
Love is the foundation of this new way of living. The twists and turns of life no longer detract or distract me because I now view these instances as opportunities to experience and learn something new. I do not hope, but now know that I am capable of anything I put my mind to. The previously undiscovered potential for greatness in my life is overwhelming. But life has never been better.

the elated,

Brian Kaufman

May, 2009

Dear Mr. Zander,

I want to tell you what happened this year that seems a match for the grade that you gave me: I've become a new person and a new musician. I used to be afraid of letting go so I would control myself to avoid making any mistakes. Now I realize how stifling it was to my development as a person and as a musician. It's ok to let go and not live in a controlling fear because I am a wonderful person and a wonderful musician. Perfection is no longer my goal. Instead, I now focus on having passion and character in my playing. I've found that thinking musically actually leads me to a far larger scope of ability than just technical pursuits alone. This has really helped advance my solo playing. I trust my knowledge and I go for it! When I am open and living in possibility, I am able to learn more because I have no boundaries on what I can achieve. Also, my relationships with people are much more meaningful because I share more of myself. I've had a wish to be an airplane pilot so that I could always escape to a world of sunshine and color above the cloud cover. I liked the feeling of freedom. I have discovered that I can feel the same freedom when I am living in a world of possibility. All of the beauty, color, and space is here - I've learned to see it by letting the walls around me dissolve. I am very happy with whom I have become. I enjoy the present and I look forward to the future.

Sincerely,


Katherine Foss

Dear Mr. Zander,
I got my A because I have vowed to go through my life with a more positive attitude, and not to take my self so seriously. This has become increasingly noticeable in my auditions. I no longer go on the audition stage with fear; instead i go on smiling happily. Just recently, I auditioned for the Albany Symphony Orchestra. I found myself not worrying, talking to people, making the help laugh and just getting to know them. Before I knew it, it was my turn to go and i had not warmed up yet. i was too busy talking to everyone. i got into my warm up room, played about two or three notes, got on stage, and played my heart out. I was not worried about losing the audition, or making mistakes, or if someone was going to play better than me. I got out there and played with no reservations. When I came out I was told i had advanced to the next round. I have never before advanced in a professional audition, but this time, because I didn't stress out about it and used it as an opportunity to get experience in auditions, I actually achieved my success.

Michael Stephan

Dear Mr. Zander

I got my 'A' in this class because I have finally begun to stop worrying about and being anxious about criticism and judgement from audiences and critics and started to simply enjoy playing my music and communicating this to people.

Even from my youth I have always been concerned about other peoples' reactions towards my playing and my technical abilities, and thus have had a nervous and paranoid approach to music. I have always been concerned about the 'right fingerings,' hitting shifts, 'right tempos' and all of the technical aspects of playing, even up to and during performances. Of course, one needs to think of all these things but it was to the point where I was overly paranoid about it, and it was having a negative impact on my music-making.

Even with the recent successes in my career, I have noticed that I still retained these old fears and paranoias from my youth. With more concerts and more exposure to big critics and larger audiences, the fear of even 'playing in tune' has grown to large proportations. However, this class has helped me move beyond all of those trivial music-business-type things and to focus on the part that I can do best - which is to play the cello, and to play it well, with genuine effort and sincere emotions!

This new attitude - to not be forever on the downward spiral, but to 'radiate possibility' - both in the rehearsal room and in the concert hall, has allowed me a freedom of spirit and a more inspirating and motivating approach to music, which not only affects me but also affects my colleagues and whoever is listening to me.

It has reached other aspects of my life as well, replacing the positive with the negative. It is the inside-out approach to life that I am beginning to identify and appreciate - it all begins with me, and as I am a reaction to everything that is around me, everything around me is also a reaction to myself! It is a simple concept but one that has changed my approach to life and to music.

It is for these reasons that I got my 'A' in this class.


Sincerely,
Kee-Hyun Kim

Dear Mr. Zander,

I got my A because of the amazing transformation I made this year. I now smile more often to strangers on the street, in my building, on the subway, everywhere I go. I radiate love, warmth and care for my fellow human beings. This makes me feel amazing inside, and it affects others around me. What others think of me is of no concern, as I know I am a happy person living in a world full of opportunity and possibility.

I no longer worry over the overwhelming tasks of my day to day life, but enjoy living and being in the moment, and enjoy doing each task whole-heartedly- being in class I'm much more attentive and alert, and I listen and speak very actively. I no longer look forward to weekends, but enjoy living in the moment of each day. My busiest days are my favorite, as I know I can affect so many people in those days, and there is much more opportunity to learn and grow. My speaking voice is loud and clear, and I present arguments, no matter how controversial and unpopular, strongly and convincingly. I am able to dive into projects such as papers and research with enthusiasm for learning. I love the fact that there is so much for me to learn. It is very energizing and exciting.

My practicing has become incredibly productive. I love playing and practicing the clarinet, and I look forward to putting my instrument together everyday and getting the chance to play it. It is energizing to learn new pieces and do my long tones well and improve on my weaknesses. I have already overcome so many challenges in my playing this year. My fingers and technique is astounding. I shock myself at the progress I've made. I'm so involved in my practicing and very present and actively listening. I am very picky with my playing, but the challenge of playing like I want is fun, and rewarding. I love being on stage in front of a large audience, as I am so excited to play for them. It makes me happy that people have come to hear me play. When I play I never think about making mistakes because I am acting and a performer on stage, and so involved in the music and excited to show everyone what I can do- how I make my clarinet sing.

So much has happened to me this year. I have more students than I can handle, as I have become such an amazing teacher. My love for learning and sharing with others has become very obvious and tangible, this and my eagerness to contact employers has resulted in my having an abundance of teaching opportunities. Because of my increased experience teaching all types of students, I have become an amazing teacher and all of my students have shown tremendous progress.

My auditions for my doctoral studies went extraordinarily. The giant leaps I made in my playing during this year have shown through. In my auditions I was so excited to show the judges how well I play, and I was completely centered and not the least bit jittery. I was so happy to be playing for them- I played the best I have ever played, and got many acceptances and assistantships. It was difficult deciding between so many wonderful schools!

I have also done very well taking orchestra auditions. My eagerness to learn and to improve on areas of my playing has greatly improved my orchestral excerpts. I play them better than I ever imagined.

After I spend my second summer at Tanglewood, I will be playing in the Honolulu Symphony for their 2005-2006 season. I also will be teaching undergraduate clarinet students at the University of Hawaii! I have already picked out my beautiful home on the outskirts of Waikiki by the ocean. My boyfriend plans to move there with me and take up surfing with me. While I'm not playing or teaching we will be able to swim, snorkel, hike, do anything we want outside because the weather is so beautiful! I won't have to deal with snow ever again! I will be able to wear tank-tops and flip-flops everyday, and the rain will be merely liquid sunshine.
Many thanks,

Erin Simmons

Dear Mr. Zander,
I got an A because I freed myself from the negativity emanating from people close to me. I realized the meaning of that old adage, "misery loves company." I decided early in life to project a winning attitude and it has served me well. I knew that in addition to attitude I had to do the yeoman's work of toil and trial in order to succeed.
So, I incorporated the tenets of the "Golden Rule" into my persona and went about doing to others as I wished them to do to me. It has not always been a process of reciprocity, but nevertheless, it has not deterred me from my goals.
For this reason, I give others an A as well, so that they can imagine the possibilities stemming from giving back to your community. I know that when others give; unconditionally, their lives are enriched and they feel good about themselves.
There is no greater gift than to give yourself, or someone else an A because it will inevitably transform the way that you respond to others. You will feel a sense of empowerment and from that day forward you will never settle for mediocrity.
A pleasure.
Edmond Black

May 2005

Dear Mr. Zander:

I got an 'A' because over the course of this year, I have embarked on a journey that has resulted in a total change in perspective. Consequently, a dramatic transformation in how I live each moment of each day of my life. It is no matter where I am, or who I am with. The change has occurred within myself, and the lessons learned from this journey (an ongoing journey, that is), are what I take with me to each experience I encounter.

I originally enrolled in the class because I sought to improve myself as a musician. I wanted to begin to understand and alleviate the causes and symptoms of performance anxiety. I was frustrated at the fact that I was never completely expressing myself when performing because I was often paralyzed by anxiety.

I was so excited when, at our first meeting, we delved into this idea of "ego" as performers. The term was not directly used; however, the concept of its effect was there. We put so much pressure on ourselves to perform brilliantly, and flawlessly. It is no wonder that we are ridden with anxiety when we are placed in front of an audience to perform, if we are constantly considering others' judgment.

The process is no longer about what others will think about my musicianship. What an absurd concern to have when you realize why we share music in the first place; "For the Glory of God." These words embrace the notion that this is not about us. It is for something so much larger, and how blessed we are to have the opportunity to recreate, share, and express for this glory! I am a vessel for something great. I now always honor that with humility, appreciation and gratitude.

I now never use words like "inadequate", or "mediocre" to describe myself in any way, because I now realize that I was given a gift that I must nurture, and be thankful for. I now replace the word inadequate for blessed. "I am a completely blessed player...I am a completely blessed individual." Each "obstacle" is an opportunity—a chance to serve, persevere, learn, grow and give thanks. It is as though I was walking around with my eyes closed, and now they have been opened. I gain so much now from experiences that I would've once viewed as failures. Because of this new awareness, I now ENJOY making music each time I do it!! Imagine that!! I get onto a stage and have a blast! I am not "concerned" or "anxious" about playing well. I just do because there is no way to not play extraordinarily well when I am celebrating this beautiful gift that has been given to me. What an amazing realization this has been, and how fortunate I am to have been given the opportunity to learn it! I now realize that my endeavors are not achieved by me, alone. I am constantly being aided by the giver of this gift. I now realize and honor that always. There is a great burden that has been lifted from me in knowing that my achievements are no longer motivated by meeting the standards of others. Rather, I seek achievement in order to honor this gift. I work hard to polish this gift, and then I seek comfort in knowing that I need not worry any further.

In September, I was eager to become a better musician. I have realized how trivial that idea is in relation to the larger picture. What was once anxiety has been transformed into excitement. I am now eagerly living out these tremendous lessons, and it is proving to be a beautiful experience.



Yours Sincerely,
Kimberly Toscano

Dear Mr. Zander,

I got my "A" because I have learned to take
chances. I no longer am concerned with negative
possible ends to my decisions, now the only thing
negative is inaction. Rather than worry about what
others will think of my decisions, or what will go
wrong, I now only think about the endless
possibilities that are at store for me with everything
thing I do. If I feel passionate about something, I
am willing to share it openly with the world. My life
has brightened and I can finally see myself. I used
to be concerned with how I am perceived by the world,
wondering if people could see me for whoever I really
am. I never really knew myself, and inside I secretly
hoped that one day someone would look at me and tell
me what they saw. The answers were always there, but
for some reason I never bothered to look in the
closest place, my heart. And now I find myself
feeling things first-hand instead of wondering what
others would expect me to feel. I have opinions and
ideas and I share them with confidence, with an
unshaken voice.
This transformation from within has helped me
through every aspect of my life, and my music has a
new bold quality to it. Every note that I play sounds
more confident, because I am playing exactly how I
feel, and I never stop to wonder if it is wrong. I
feel like I have been freed from the world of the
downward spiral where I was always concerned with
playing a note wrong or out of tune. This is no
longer my concern, and a "bad" performance no longer
means one with wrong notes, it is a performance that I
didn't devote my entire self to. Before, in my fear
of missing notes, I really missed the whole point of
music. Today I feel confident that I will be
completely involved in every note that I play whether
those notes are right or wrong. I have realized that
the people in the audience wouldn't care if I played
everything perfectly, but what makes music so exciting
is when the performer is completely engaged in the
music, and sings it all the way to the very last row
of the audience! I am now a performer who sings
through the clarinet, and I do not hide behind my
music stand anymore! I look at the audience members
right in the eye, and I play every phrase right to
them. I don't want to just play notes, I want the
notes to leap right of the page and ring through the
hall in a glorious tone. When I perform people will
realize that classical music is exciting. And if I
don't do that then I can't say that I played well
enough.
At this point in my life, music has completely
taken over my entire being. I have never before felt
so confident in my music, and because of that I can't
get enough! I have decided that it is not fair to
keep it all to myself, so I have built a small studio
of young musicians in the Boston area. I have never
taught before, but it has now become very natural to
me. Lessons are focused around phrasing, and fun,
with some basic fundamentals of clarinet playing.
Mostly it is important that I reach the kids. To me
if I give an assignment, I want them to be excited to
learn the piece. If they groan about having to
practice, then I am not reaching them. I will be
proud of them, regardless of how fast their fingers
are, if they will get excited about learning music -
this is my purpose as a teacher. I want to share how
amazing music is, so that classical music can survive
through the next generation.
To think that only year ago, I was too shy to
express myself completely, unable to speak up and
declare my opinion, too afraid of missing notes to
make them sing. The person I am today, as I write you
this letter, is proud of the changes that have
occurred over the course of this year. Every note
that I play will be as if it were the last sound that
anyone will ever hear. And this, Mr. Zander, is why I
got my "A".

Thanks for a great year,


Amy Advocat

May 2005

Dear Mr. Zander

I got my A, because over the past year, my love of music grew up to achieve my old dreams. I felt how beautiful the music is. I strongly believe about the power of music through many concerts that I've held in hospitals and churches. It was beautiful and fragrant songs to patients, giving them and us a hope of life that I couldn't feel before. ALso, I want to add my tally to the love of music which is a song and the brightest side of my soul. I saw their tear but smile, and I saw my tear but smile to our lives through the music. There are no more frustrations and afflictions about myself but only the joyful mind when I play music. The music is my soul and life and I.
Finally, I can tell that I'm a lover of music who could give a little contribution to this gray world. This world and our lives can be changed by the music such as one cup of coffee every morning and one piece of flower under the tree, giving a little wish. Moreover, the love of music gave me a reason to playing violin. It's not stress and anxious any more but the new joy of life.
I appreciate every single moment of my life. Every day when I wake up, I open the window and smell the air and look up at the sky. It shows the weather of the day, but sometimes, weather is bad and sometimes, the weather is beautiful.
The life is same as the weather, I think, if there is a bad day then there must be a good day, too. I told to myself that don't give up though you have a horrible day, someday, you'll know how to appreciate the moment with slight smiling. The music is life and soul.
Michelle Lie

May 2005
Dear Mr. Zander:
I got an A because I have finally been able to believe that life is full of possibilities for me and that the same amazing things that I used to see happening in other people's lives can come to mine and I can make them happen.
It is difficult to believe but there has been such a revolution in my life that I do not know very well how to start. I think I will start telling you what my life plans ended up being from now on.
Next year I will establish in Paris. My boyfriend just got a job in an orchestra there, and the enormous development I have experienced this year as a human being and as a musician has moved me to adopt the drastic decision of leaving the conservatory teaching job for all my life that I had won after taking the state examinations three years ago in my country. That job represented something very important for my parents that saw as a big security the fact that their daughter already had a salary for all her life, but it was for me a prison that did not allow me to practice, because even not teaching an incredible amount of ours I had to be in the conservatory 5 days a week, and it required for me more administrative work trhan creative ones, which ended up leading me to some kind of state where I had to be constantly fighting against everything to maintain my quality of work as musician and as a teacher.
I have found a job as an accompanist in a music school there and that salary allows me to start there a doctor program and continue working as a musician.
I am really happy because I have been able to take the risk of conducting my own life and I have finally renounced to drive myself the way that others would have considered safe or right. It has been difficult but the strength of my convictions have finally moved my family to understand and respect my decision.
And I am really happy too because for the first time since I was 5 or 6 years old I have allowed myself to dream, something I have not been "programmed" for at all, and which is more important, because I believed in the possibility of finding myself at this point I have developed so much as a person and I feel stronger and more capable to give my best to this world.
I promise I will send you a postcard from Paris as soon as I arrive.
Sincerely yours,
Maria Orejana Salinas

May 2005

Dear Mr Zander,
I got my A because I have become the person that I did not know that I could be! I feel happy, confident, excited, fulfilled and ready to give myself totally to people around me. What a great life I have! I am really thankful for everything in my life now and at the same time proud of it too.
I am now married to my sweetheart, who used to be a reluctant medical researcher with an interest in music but has now become a happy amateur piano technician and an enthusiastic manager for musicians. In his spare time he even plays duets with me!
But enough about him! I want to tell you what I've done. I am now combining my passion for vocal music and playing the piano by working constantly with the singers when I accompany them. I also derive much pleasure and satisfaction by playing with other instrumentalists. How I love the exchange of ideas, emotions, and souls in the act of ensemble playing. In this way mere friends can share the innermost secrets and passions without saying a word. How magical, invigorating, and life giving it is. It feeds my soul and refreshes my very being.
I also teach many students. I never knew how enlightening and how wonderful it is to help other people enjoy music. They don't know that by helping them I also learn many important things about music and playing. In my relationship with students I'm not the only teacher beacuse they are my teachers, too.
A career is not everything, of course. I have a blissful domestic life in addition to my musical activities. I enjoy the company of my two beloved cats and I am a happy cook for my husband. In the past, I used to be afraid of giving myself and being responsible for another human being apart from my sweetheart. Frail health was the main reason for my fear and lack of commitment. I was born with a medical condition for which I have to take medications every day.
Because of this condition I also knew that I'll never be able to conceive but I felt that I could not even take care of myself, which made me doubt that I'll have the stamina and capability to devote energy to my family. However, the selflessness and reassurant of my husband opened my heart. With his love and support I began taking care of myself by exercising, eating well and going to bed early (many people don't know how important that last one is)! Well, now I am so much stronger physically and emotionally. My husband and I are now palnning to adopt a baby in the near future! My parents would never believe how I cahnged from the weak and often-ill little girl I was! I know they'll be proud of me as tehy always are. In fact, I know you'll be proud of me too, won't you?
Sincerely,
Agnes Huang
`

Dear Mr. Zander,
I got my "A" becauseI could have a good chance to think about myself through interpretation class. I think that I am not changed to a new person, but I changed a lot.
Frankly speaking, I was a very shy person. I loved and still love music, so I keep studying music. but can you imagine that the person like me play music in front of people? Also, I used to be sensitive about listener's thinking about my music although they didn't talk anything to me. Through their face or air, I judged myself negative way. However, I thought and thought a lot about myself through your class. I realized that the most important thing for me is how much I love music and how much I have confidence in myself. When I really enjoy my music, also listener can enjoy music with me. When I have confidence about my music, audience can understand my music. If I doubt myself, who is going to believe me? Making mistake is not really important thing. More important think is introducing myself to audience and giving them my message. From now on, I am not going to fear about another persons thinking. Their thinking can help me for my improvement, but they can't judge me because I will keep improving myself. I am not perfect. We are not a machine, we are musician. We can touch people's heart through our soul. Still, I need to learn many things because music is not only about emotional thingsw also it needs intellectual things. How about I am not a gold medalist? It's O.K. More important thing for me is how much I try and work hard. Then I have pride myself.
Maybe it was me who put me into the small cage. How about now? I feel that I got nice wing. Still not flying well, but keep trying hard and someday I will fly nicely. Thank you for your nice present.
Sincerely,
Seung-Yoen Jung

Dear Mr. Zander,
I got my A because I have gone back in time. I'm 5 years old or so - I giggle about a thousand times a day, dance freely when I sing and I make music with anything everywhere. Plus I never want to "grow up." Well Mr. Zander, I actually turned 25 two weeks ago, nut that number means nothing really because I have truly gone back to my innocence... to my true self befoe all the worries and doubts set in to obstruct my path. My years of education and professional training have now helped me realize that I need to go back to my childhood to allow my whole creative energy to flourish. I have fully embraced my natural instincts, felings and hopes and used my education to supplement them for diversity and justification, not to change my musical voice.
With the many realizations over this year I have finally moved beyond thinking about self-improvement to arrive at real application. I will always be great at diagnosing how I feel and finding areas in which I need improvement; now also, I am great - fully connected - to my actions based on that self-analysis.
I have learned it is very simple to become a vessel for music. I just step closer to the ideal always. This year I inched closer every day to my true self and now I am miles ahead. I have a calm spirit and ultimate freedom in creating, nurturing and breathing my art. I love this art and I never allow tension, fear - anything - to obscure the vibrancy of my voice, my sound and my interpretation in music. I feel so alive; there is always the warmth of the sun and a loving smile bestowed on me. Music has taught me how to live.
With so many years spent working hard in a practice room I have now upgarded my playing by simply breathing. I breathe without tension being simply aware of my body's intake of air, even luxuriating in it! It is natural and a necessity, which is what music is to me. When I listen or play (basically as I live) I act without complication and self-assurance. With the intensity of a synchronized choir or the magnificent sway of a rousing tutti orchestra or with the soft and gentle song of a bird I can make music. Alone I can find now these great connections to life through focusing on making music. I am self motivated and have within my repertoire the intent of 100 people, and that of a tiny animal.
My developed confidence has come making fewer value judgement. I am not perfect but my ideals, my inner musical voice move me and I share them with people around me. I do not cringe when I fall short I try and try again. I enjoy the process of learning which will never stop in me. I have full acceptance of all of me and I love it. I know that whatever limitations I face are optional and only temporary.
Thank you so much.
Nicole Hansboro