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Gratitude (Click to reply)
submitted: 4/21/2008 7:37 AM
by: johndaley
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REAL_NAME: John P. Daley II
AREACODE: 636
PHONE: 236-7985
ADDRESS: 691 A Trade Center BLVD
CITY: Chesterfield
STATE: MO
ZIP: 63005
COUNTRY: USA
COMMENTS: Ben and Roz
I want to thank you for writing this book. I have struggled with
school my whole life. I was labeled learning disabled... told I would
never amount to much.I will never forget how many times I heard "you are
so smart but you will never live up to your potential."
I created so many complexes around these life experiances, I have gone
from wonderboy to bankrupt. For the first time in many months I can see
possibility. I really desire to live in it and sustain joy from it. I am
writing the letter to my soul today, explaining why I got my first real A,
the only one that will ever matter to me. I don't know how I can ever
express enough gratitude for the spark! I really appreciate you lifting 20
years of mental subversion to the "fact" that I recieved low marks on
exams. While I may never finish college, I now can look at it in a new
light. I intend to radiate the possibility and be the spark. The downward
spiral is no longer in control. Thank you so much!
Yours Truly,
John Paul Daley II
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mahler 9th (Click to reply)
submitted: 4/17/2008 9:24 PM
by: ebennett@walnuthillarts.org
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| I wanted to let you know how much we enjoyed you, Mahler, and the NEC orchestra. What a terrific performance! It was really a pleasure to hear it done as a work of peace and affirmation rather than one of resignation. You really inspired the group to sound and perform better than I had dared to imagine---and what a great string sound! I could tell from your Walnut Hill masterclass this was going to have a special mojo about it, and it certainly did! Congratulations, and I hope the orchestra got as much out of the experience as we did! |
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Tonight's mahler concert (Click to reply)
submitted: 4/17/2008 4:26 AM
by: Raquel Jimenez
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Dear Mr. Zander,
I had only a few brief moments to speak with you tonight, but I wanted to again express my gratitude for having the opportunity to hear tonight's performance of the Mahler.
After having read your blog on rehearsal preparation, one thing really stands out. It is apparent to me that you are not only concerned with the orchestra's overall musical experience, but you are very concerned with the human experience as well. It is really touching to see you refer to each person by name- not just instrument, and I also get a sense that you relate to each musician on a personal level.
I'm sure the orchestra members really appreciate having such an attentive conductor.
Again, thanks for the wonderful concert.
Sincerely,
Raquel Jimenez
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Echoes of your visit to Toronto (Click to reply)
submitted: 4/15/2008 9:42 PM
by: jm.fisher@utoronto.ca
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Mr. Zander:
I have been listening to raft of cd's that arrived in the mail yesterday from Telarc.
I wanted to tell you that the notes you spoke in the "5th" commentary on the Kindertotenlieder are great but almost too much to bear.
We lost a child, at birth, in 1991. It was devastating to us, and heartbreaking to Mary's mother.
Last Sunday, I marked the 32nd anniversary of my father's death.
He was only in his mid-forties, and I was fifteen. When you speak of the coffin being a regular piece of furniture in the household, I know only too well...
Still, we live, and I find healing in your words. Your father was right. You are a member of the healing profession.
To live, to learn, to love, to leave a legacy. That's all I want to do. That's what you are doing!
Keep it up, and know that we think highly of you, in Toronto.
best,
Julian.
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Extending the reach of your life lessons (Click to reply)
submitted: 4/11/2008 11:07 PM
by: billylo@yahoo.com
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Dear Mr. Zander,
I was fortunate enough to attend your wonderful presentation at an IBM Leadership conference last year. Since then, I have not stopped thinking about your teaching. The practices in your book, the Chopin music, and everything.
To sum it all up, your teachings has changed my life.
I couldn't wait to share your ideas with my family; but it's harder than I thought. Your book is wonderful. However, for a lot of people, it's much easier for them to absorb ideas through audio and video.
I learned that BBC made a documentary called "Living on One Buttock". But there seems to be no easy way to purchase a copy of it.
"The real power is in making others powerful". Are there any way to trigger some actions that open up access to videos such as "Living on One Buttock"?
I think this will make a difference. And I hope this posting will contribute to it.
Yours sincerely.
Billy.
(one of the many "Zanderized")
[p.s. your concert in Toronto in April 08 was fantastic. I was thrilled to meet you again in person.] |
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Music for Caoching (Click to reply)
submitted: 4/5/2008 8:54 AM
by: graham@walkthisway.co.za
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Dear Ben
I am a very recent "initiate" to your world and what a wonderful, uplifting world it is! Thank you!
I live in what I consider to be the most magnificent, beautiful city in the world, Cape Town, South Africa. I am a career coach and workshop facilitator. My main areas of interest are unlocking the immense potential that each of us has within ourselves to venture beyond our current horizons, and the introduction of classical music into the lives of people who have not yet experienced the joy of embracing this wealth of music.
I was interested to read the message from "the guy in the pink shirt" at one of your performances who shared his experience of remembering his wife as a love lost. He refers to his emotions as you played Chopin. Do you remember what particular piece you were playing at the time, as I would like to experience something similar myself.
Later this month I am due to facilitate a 2-day, interactive "learning to coach" workshop with a group of retired senior executives who have made themselves available to coach young managers and engineers making their way into the world of management. I intend using classical music as a means to stimulate certain states of mind during the workshop and was wondering if you could suggest a few pieces that would be appropriate to share with my group in learning about, understanding and starting to develop some skills in the context of coaching. I am especially keen to set up a good "introductory" session with music in which I will lead a general exploratory discussion on the topic of coaching as a valuable life tool for senior citizens who want to plough back some of their wealth of learning, skills and knowledge to the next generation. I will also be addressing those who will be undergoing the coaching, and would like to use suitable music that will assist them in becoming receptive to the experience of being coached. Your advice on the choice of music for this would also be sincerely appreciated.
Thank you so much for your inspiration - I am so excited about combining my love of the classics with the work I do as a presenter, trainer and facilitator.
Warm regards
Graham McCulloch
Cape Town, South Africa
Saturday 05 April 2008 |
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The Tall Man in the Pink Shirt – Fourth Row – Cried During Chopin (Click to reply)
submitted: 4/3/2008 11:28 AM
by: dehicks@indiana.edu
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Mr. Zander,
We met in Orlando, FL when you spoke at the American Association of Collegiate Registrars & Admissions Officers (AACRAO) conference. I was the “tall man, in the pink shirt, fourth row from the front, who cried during Chopin.” A short time later, you and I were talking in the exhibit hall and I told you that the one I loved and lost was my wife. You asked me to send you this note as a reminder of our encounter.
The Tall Man in the Pink Shirt – Fourth Row – Cried During Chopin
Benjamin Zander asked the audience, in which I sat, to close our eyes and think of someone we had loved and lost…while he played a piece from Chopin on the piano…so I did. With my eyes closed, he softly began playing and I almost instantaneously lost myself in the music. I dreamed of my wife who I had loved and lost.
During the first part of the score, I remembered the day Tina and I met, how we laughed, how we shared, how we loved. During the middle part of the score, as the music reached its crescendo, I remembered the birth of our two wonderful children, Christopher and Victoria, and the joy they brought to our lives. But, as the music digressed from its triumphant crescendo to its lonely and somber end, I contemplated the drift that snuck into our lives. And, with his final lonely note, Tina’s hand slipped from mine. She was gone. Twenty-seven years of marriage had come to end.
After his performance and speech to my college registrar colleagues, I had an opportunity to shared my Chopin experience with Mr Zander. When I finished, he asked me what I was going to do now. I calmly stated…, “Sir, I am going to go home, hug my two children, and give them both “A’s.”
Sincerely,
Dennis (the tall man in the pink shirt, fourth row, who cried during Chopin) |
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Mahler's 9th (Click to reply)
submitted: 4/3/2008 11:06 AM
by: martyj_58@yahoo.com
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Professor - One of my former students emailed a portion of your blog on the Mahler 9th Symphony to me and that compeled me to write this.
I discovered and read your book "The Art of Possibility" this summer and found it really exciting.
Well, this former student of mine is studying at NEC, is a part of your orchestra, and thoroughly enjoying the experience (Elation is a better word). The student's excitement is heightened because when I discovered that you are a part of NEC, I bought "The Art" as a gift for two reasons. The ideas and concepts you present are life-forming, and it shows your "heart" to an aspiring young musician.
I can tell you that this student's short time with you is already strengthing not only a musical foundation but a life-building foundation.
Oh - I forgot to give you a name.. Look around your orchestra. I'm sure you will spot who I'm talking about. It will be easy..... I'll bet any student in the orchestra feels as my student does about their experience with you ............. so, look around and enjoy.
As you know, Musical Academia can be filled with egos, so I would like you to know how wonderful it is for someone such as me to know that one of my students is in the care of a conductor that knows building people (musicians) is what re-creates the glorious music of the likes of Mahler. The music, the musicians, the person, in the hands of a life-building conductor - EVERYBODY WINS.
Thank you so very much.
Martin S. Johnson |
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HELP, HELP they want to throw MUSIC out (Click to reply)
submitted: 3/25/2008 3:47 AM
by: wheinz@rodio.co.za
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Dear Benjamin Zander
As a governor of one of the schools in Johannesburg and as one of
your
ardent admirers, having attended one of your presentations at the
Theatre
on the Track I have two questions: When are you coming to South
Africa
again??? AND
How can I prevent the school from "throwing out" Music???
Do you have more information, videos etc to assist in my process to
convince the school of the value of music. It should be obvious but
within
the present climate of utilitarianism, and materialism it seems to
get
increasingly difficult. Kind regards
wfheinz
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Organizational Change (Click to reply)
submitted: 3/22/2008 12:58 PM
by: misskellymanzella@yahoo.com
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Dear Mr. Zander,
I hope you [and Mrs. Zander] are having a perfect day!
I am a communications and leadership graduate student from Buffalo, New York. I was assigned at least twelve books to read for courses this semester. I plowed through them quickly before the semester even began so that I could manage the overcommitted course load I elected for myself!
Your book is the only one I recommend to others. I think about it every day. Even the opening exchange with the young lady in the hotel restaurant pops in to my mind regularly.
I have a presentation at the end of my organizational change course and I wish to have something more interesting to share with my classmates than the standard power point presentation. "The Art of Possibility" was at work on me when I awoke early one morning and thought that perhaps I could write a letter to Ben Zander. What would I write? What do I wish to share? What do I wish to gain? What response do I hope for from the Zanders? Would they get the correspondence in time? Would there be time to reply?
I should not have been surprised to see the rich discussion board on line. It took very little effort to find this vehicle - - really just three clicks away from the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra website where I began my exploration.
I got a sense from your book that you didn’t always view life exactly from the possibility vantage point.
a. If that is mildly accurate would you please share with me what prompted you to elect this outlook.
b. Was there one situation or any series of occurrences that moved you from a prior framework to this one?
c. What made you wish to change?
d. Which concept in your book to you notice yourself turning to most often and why?
Thank you for writing such an effervescent and original book!
With gratitude,
Kelly DiFiglia
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RE:Organizational Change (Click to reply)
submitted: 3/23/2008 4:12 PM
by: bzander@benjaminzander.com
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Kelly,
How great to get your beautiful post.
I will pass your letter on to Roz, who is the author of the book. It is true that she drew on my stories, experiences and insights as a teacher and a conductor, but it was she who delved deep into the philosophical ideas that underlie each practice, and, of course, she added her own experiences and insights from a life-time of therapeutic work with individuals, couples, families, groups and organizations. She is also a considerable artist in her own right (painter, see her website) musician (amateur violinist and, by now virtually a professional listener) and, as you now know, writer. Most of all she is an artist of human development. Her life has been devoted to what makes us adults.
To answer your question, Roz has spent her life on a rigorous course of self-transformation (the only one we can actually do). I have, as you noted, muddled through 69 years of teaching, conducting and organizational leadership, suffering highs and lows of mood and effectiveness, working to master the practices of possibility and gradually becoming less and less at the effect of circumstances and more able to focus my attention and energies on contribution.
The reason to do this, is the infinite reward that comes from seeing so many shining eyes around me.
Indeed, my definition of success is not to measure wealth, fame or power, but, rather, to look for the shining eyes.
Rule # 6 is the gateway to possibility, Giving the "A" is the cornerstone. The former I often forget (though I have the white sheets to keep me on track), the latter is now deeply embedded in my DNA - it is the greatest gift I have and the greatest gift I an give.
Throughout this process, Roz has been my disciplined and compassionate coach.
Warmest wishes for your wonderful project of bringing the practices of possibility to organizational change. There is no worthier endeavor
Ben |
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wonderful (Click to reply)
submitted: 2/22/2008 8:11 AM
by: saj-nicole
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Dear Ben,
Natalia Gutman was amazing, captivating, and reached right to my soul. You and BPO are just wonderful.
I'm so grateful to have heard this concert.
Thank you thank you
Love
Sajnicole
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld. |
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RE:wonderful (Click to reply)
submitted: 3/27/2008 6:17 AM
by: bzander@benjaminzander.com
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Saj Nicole,
Thank you for your thoughts on Natalia Gutman. It remains one of the highlights of our musical lives and I am happy to tell you that she is coming back NEXT SEASON to play the Prokoviev Sinfonia Concertante.
Love
Ben |
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RE:wonderful (Click to reply)
submitted: 3/27/2008 6:17 AM
by: bzander@benjaminzander.com
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Saj Nicole,
Thank you for your thoughts on Natalia Gutman. It remains one of the highlights of our musical lives and I am happy to tell you that she is coming back NEXT SEASON to play the Prokoviev Sinfonia Concertante.
Love
Ben |
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concert Thursday Feb 21st (Click to reply)
submitted: 2/22/2008 5:41 AM
by: kathryn.geiger@comcast.net
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WOW! I have never felt about the Tchaikovsky 6th the way I did tonight. I've
heard this piece dozens of times, live and on recording, but have never
heard a better performance and have never felt this moved. Of course I've
known about Tchaikovsky's homosexuality, but I'm embarrassed to say that I
never put together the story of his life with this symphony in any
meaningful way. Tonight I heard the 1st movement not just as love music, but
as sad, unfulfilled love music; the 2nd, a waltz in 5, as the expression of
a man forever out of step with the dance; the 3rd as the energetic march of
those who marched together in step, as he never would; and the 4th as
heartbreaking grief for what would never be.
Thank you!
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Thank you for the inspiration (Click to reply)
submitted: 2/21/2008 10:34 AM
by: josh@propertycg.com
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Roz and Ben
I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed the Art of Possibility and
what an effect it had on me, both personally and professionally. I'm 29
years old and recently started my own sports marketing consultancy. I was
fortunate enough to be given the opportunity to travel to Australia a few
weeks ago to co-lead a 3 day sports marketing seminar for a variety of
Australian sports organizations including the Australian National Cricket
Team. Shortly before leaving, my sister suggested I read the Art of
Possibility. So many of the philosophies contained in the book pertain to
the business philosophies and lessons we try to share I was astounded. We
actually teach the philosophy, "Revenue as an Outcome, not an Objective"
which was very similar to your thought "Money has a way of showing up
around contribution because money is the currency through which people
show they are enrolled in the possibility you are offering."
I wound up incorporating a few of your quotes and thoughts as part of the
seminars (don't worry, you were properly credited) and I know from the
feedback we've already received that it had a powerful impact on my new
friends in the Southern Hemisphere.
I wish you both continued happiness and success and please let me
know if you are ever in Southern California for a concert or speaking
engagement, I would love the opportunity to thank you in person for your
continued inspiration!
Warm Regards,
Josh Kritzler
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Beethoven recordings (Click to reply)
submitted: 2/15/2008 7:35 AM
by: josephdolderer@hotmail.com
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Dear Jamie,
Thank you so much for sending this wonderful copy of Beethoven's Ninth. It is certainly awesome to hear and extreamly thought provoking. Benjamin Zander is a hero; I feel drawn into Beethoven listening to this recording....such a wonderful spiritual experience!
Thank you!!
Joseph |
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Leadership (Click to reply)
submitted: 2/14/2008 8:48 AM
by: premhid@webmail.co.za
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Begin forwarded message:
From: premhid@webmail.co.za
Date: February 14, 2008 8:33:55 AM EST
To: sstetson@mac.com
Subject: for Mr Zander
Dear Mr Zander
My name is Kameel Premhid. I am an 18 year old South African university
student reading for my Bachelor of Arts in politics, law, philosophy,
linguistics, afrikaans and isizulu (the latter two subjects are South
African languages).
I was given your contact details by my aunt Mrs Shireen Chengadu who is
the Head of the Academic Programme at the Gordon Institute of Business
Sciences (GIBS) based here in Johannesburg.
After she discovered that it had been recommended to me to read your and
your wife's book, 'The Art of Possibility', she suggested i email you.
The book is on the recommended reading list of the political youth
leadership programme that i am part of. The course is run by the
Democratic Alliance's (DA) Youth Leadership Academy. The DA is South
Africa's official opposition to the country's ruling party, the African
National Congress.
The course seeks to identify and develop future leaders of our party
crucially in the areas of leadership - which is where your book comes in.
I have only read the first few pages but am already scribbling away
frantically for I find myself being made to think constantly about what my
perceptions of leadership are.
I was fortunate to watch a documentary however on your 'unorthodox'
leadership style last year in 2007. The documentary was presented to us by
the School Counsellor who wanted the Prefects of our school to challenge
our own leadership methods in order to inspire the school to take itself
to better and greater heights. Our success was excellent and can be viewed
-should you want to see it for yourself - at www.glenwoodhighschool.co.za.
After watching the documentary our upbeat attitudes and constantly
unrelenting we can achieve outlook on life inspired, challenged and i
believe, helped everyone to do better.
From that alone I look forward to seeing the effects your book has on my
life especially in so far as my professional ambition of being a future
South African President is concerned. We can chat about that at some other
time possibly and view the progress I have made thus far
Thank you for your excellent work and on behalf of the may people that
have been exposed to it, I implore you to please carry on
I hope you are well
With Regards
Kameel Premhid
Durban, South Africa
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Thank you for everything (Click to reply)
submitted: 2/11/2008 9:42 AM
by: violabassoon@gmail.com
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Dear Mr Zander,
It was an amazing pleasure and privilege of mine to perform under your direction. I don't think that anything could have made me fly as I have this past week. At the Severance performance, I practically floated up in the air when we stood. Thank you for coming to Akron, I am very glad we met.
I'm writing an article for my school newspaper about the concert, your book, and such things. The school I attend is an art school; however, the principal and staff only seem to care about sporting events. The school orchestra is in the dumps, and the band director only cares about marching band. I would like to inspire and bring excitement to the music program, and bring recognition more to the arts. Do you have anything that you would like to say that would help? I would really appreciate it, as I am often made fun of or called a "loser" for going to orchestra concerts. This does not bother me, but wish I could show people that true art is not just for geeks, but for everyone.
I share your dreams of touching everyone's lives with music, and I believe that it can be done. I read your book cover to cover because it was addictive, and I have grown alot from that. However, it is difficult to see my place, as a teenager, in taking leadership to get away from the "downward spiral." Everything our teachers say is comparing us and judging us, and my classmates are constantly comparing grades, or slandering teachers. I find highschool very difficult to tolerate because of this and wonder what I could do to make it through.
Working with you has been the highlight of this year. Tonight I practically floated off my chair during the concert. My dad asked me to thank you for having the courage to schedule a concert at Severance because it was so amazing, and it transformed the orchestra and chorus.
I hope to work with you again soon.
Thank You,
Hannah McIntyre
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Thank you Ben! (Click to reply)
submitted: 2/1/2008 8:21 PM
by: shai@yorku.ca
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For the hug, for what you do and for transformational inspiration...and for my opportunity to cheer for Bangladesh in the most unlikely of places! I hope you were able to reach Nashville in time.
Sayma
(A Bangladeshi from the HR Conference in Toronto) |
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Beethoven 9th (Click to reply)
submitted: 1/31/2008 9:06 AM
by: bz@benjaminzander.com
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REAL_NAME: Winnie Bakker
ZIP: Wisconsin Dells
COUNTRY: USA
COMMENTS: Dear Sirs/Madam,
First of all I want to thank you for the wonderful documentary about
Benjamin Zander and second I would like to ask how I can purchase a copy
of the Beethoven 9th CD (the link to online purchase wasn't working).
Yesterday I stumbled upon the documentary on the Ovation Channel and it
moved me deeply. (I had to watch it several times) I teach A Course In
Miracles and the concepts of the art of possibility and the experiences
thereof that were expressed and demonstrated so beautifully in the
documentary are very similar. The words are true and the experiences are
real. Falling in love with everyone, remembering God. It's like being in
an ongoing free fall. Total trust, not hanging on to anything, discovering
the Universe, where no man has gone before... I felt very much at home
entering into the journey Benjamin Zander was taking me on. So please
thank him from the bottom of my heart for everything he has done and is
doing for the awakening of mankind to a whole new perspective, a whole new
continuum of time. And thank you for being part of it.
All my love,
Winnie
p.s I hope it's possible to hear from you soon about purchasing the CD. I
would like to give it as a Christmas present to my teacher, who loves
Beethoven and loves the 9th Symphonie, but as far as I know has never
heard the interpretation of Benjamin Zander and the Boston Philharmonic.
Thank you and Merry Christmas to all.
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Beethoven 9th (Click to reply)
submitted: 1/31/2008 9:06 AM
by: bz@benjaminzander.com
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REAL_NAME: Winnie Bakker
ZIP: Wisconsin Dells
COUNTRY: USA
COMMENTS: Dear Sirs/Madam,
First of all I want to thank you for the wonderful documentary about
Benjamin Zander and second I would like to ask how I can purchase a copy
of the Beethoven 9th CD (the link to online purchase wasn't working).
Yesterday I stumbled upon the documentary on the Ovation Channel and it
moved me deeply. (I had to watch it several times) I teach A Course In
Miracles and the concepts of the art of possibility and the experiences
thereof that were expressed and demonstrated so beautifully in the
documentary are very similar. The words are true and the experiences are
real. Falling in love with everyone, remembering God. It's like being in
an ongoing free fall. Total trust, not hanging on to anything, discovering
the Universe, where no man has gone before... I felt very much at home
entering into the journey Benjamin Zander was taking me on. So please
thank him from the bottom of my heart for everything he has done and is
doing for the awakening of mankind to a whole new perspective, a whole new
continuum of time. And thank you for being part of it.
All my love,
Winnie
p.s I hope it's possible to hear from you soon about purchasing the CD. I
would like to give it as a Christmas present to my teacher, who loves
Beethoven and loves the 9th Symphonie, but as far as I know has never
heard the interpretation of Benjamin Zander and the Boston Philharmonic.
Thank you and Merry Christmas to all.
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WEF (Click to reply)
submitted: 1/29/2008 4:17 AM
by: bz@benjaminzander.com
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Dear Benjamin,
As a participant in the World Economic Forum this year, I just wanted to write to you to say how inspiring your session of today has been - you have been able to touch all of us deeply with very profound insights on leadership - and what better than music to reach the innermost feelings of the leaders in the room !
Thank you
A truly amazing experience - and thank you Klaus for giving all of us this unique opportunity
Michele Luzi
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Giving an "A"? (Click to reply)
submitted: 1/19/2008 11:44 PM
by: yostsa@gmail.com
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Dear Ben,
I recently had the beautiful experience of seeing the video, "Leadership: an Art of Possibility." It brought tears to my eyes for the deep truth it embodies. I'm trying to live by these principles in my personal and professional life, and have come across a sticking point...
I teach engineering at the university level, both undergraduate and graduate students. It is not rare for me to come across a student who cannot seem to "get it" - despite every effort on my part to help them. Some of these students are not putting in effort, but others try very hard, but just can't seem to find learning strategies that work for them. I hate it when these latter group of students fail a class, but I'm also aware that I have an ethical responsibility to society to assure that the students we graduate have the needed competencies to practice engineering.
For now, when a student fails, I try to console myself by asking if I would want to cross a bridge designed by that student, but it is not very satisfying. Any suggestions?
Best,
Sandy (also a musician who plays clarinet and sax just for fun!) |
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a message (Click to reply)
submitted: 1/18/2008 7:22 PM
by: bz@benjaminzander.com
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Hi, I am Cassie Marusa, and I am an 8th grader at Carlton Hills in Santee, CA.
My mother, Jessica Marusa, has recently experienced your amazing corporate speech for Sharp. She absolutely loved it, and even demonstrated some of your techniques for me.
I know you must be really busy, but I was wondering if sometime you can do a volunteer speech at my school for Avid. Avid is a program where students learn more about colleges and discover ways to stand out in average classes. I understand if this is impossible for you, and I’d like to thank you for your time. Also, if you have any tips when speaking in public, please feel free to tell me! I am president of my school and can always use some advice from a Pro.
Thank you so much for reading this!
Sincerely,
-Cassie
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Thanks and a question (Click to reply)
submitted: 1/16/2008 11:01 AM
by: mike.allan@sharp.com
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Maestro,
(I have never written to a maestro so it's kind of fun to use that instead of Mr). I attended the Sharp Experience on Jan.15th,2008. I was expecting another address on "working together for the common good (of Sharp, of course!) You were a wonderful surprise. I call myself a musician in that I have played music all my life and love all types of music. My area of expertise is not at your level at all;I'm a guitar, keyboard,electric bass player with no formal training but a pretty good "frame of reference" relating to music. I was so excited when I heard your message, your enthusiasm and passion is contagious. You made me think about how I look at family, work, life and I hope to regain some of the youthful energy and positive feelings I once had. During your playing and explanation of the Chopin piece, I thought of my 35 year old son, who I lost to cancer 3 years ago. I was moved to tears by your playing and the emotions conveyed. I guess I want to say thank you for uncovering some buried feelings in my life and showing me what I need to pass to my children and grandchildren.
My question is fairly mundane, did you know Sir George Martin during the 60's or before? Were your worlds even close, and did classical musicians have any kind of rebirth relating to that time? I'm just curious, please don't tell me he was a hack (even if he was.) I have an emotional connection to European culture( mostly British and even Scottish and Irish ) The way you communicate, the history, the events that shaped your lives, and how European life experiences are so different, is fascinating to me as a postwar pampered American. We are a spoiled people and our sense of the past is only 200 years old. Our historical buildings date from the 1700s at best, while yours are at least a thousand years older.
Ok, this is too long, I'll close again with a thank you for the gift you gave me and my co-workers at Sharp.
Michael Allan
Sharp Memorial Hospital
San Diego CA. |
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Sharp HealthCare All Staff (Click to reply)
submitted: 1/15/2008 5:13 PM
by: gregory.krausert@sharp.com
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Ben;
singing with you today was just the tip of the iceberg in my 'transformation'. Happy Birthday to YOU and Ode to Joy were so inspirational. I know that you touched many many of the Sharp staff at the morning gathering today. When I got back to the office, yes, I did make it, although with a very very big smile, and all I heard face to face, and over the walls was wasn't that the best all-staff ever? the speaker was tremendous. I hope that we can incorporated just one of your ideas: Rule #6. That alone will help keep ALL of us grounded! Thanks again for your inspirations. I look forward to reading more on your site and listening to your works via CD! You are welcome back to San Diego and to Sharp Health Care anytime!
Greg |
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A fashion Company (Click to reply)
submitted: 1/14/2008 6:37 AM
by: bz@benjaminzander.com
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Ben,
Thank you so very, very much for this Friday. You have deeply touched my
team. The messages coming through to me range from tears, to joy, to
having been deeply inspired... to having laughed a lot ... something
they did not expect to do. And a lot of them want you as an honourary
uncle!
The best part is that this morning will touch all parts of our lives.
Tranformational indeed! You gave people the confidence to believe in
themselves and think very big. Magic, in a backwater of Kentish Town!
Many thanks again. You helped a lot of people on the road to change this
morning, including me!
Love,
Juliet |
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Leadership... (Click to reply)
submitted: 1/11/2008 1:00 PM
by: rcunningham4@gmail.com
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Ben,
Hello! My name is Rebecca, and I heard you speak at the Willow Creek Leadership Summit in August of 2001. I had just turned 17 at the time and I was entering my senior year of high school. I had recently suffered great loss; my best friend committed suicide and my grandmother had passed away weeks before the summit. My grades plummeted in school, I quit the basketball team, I stopped attending and being a leader in church, and my relationships suffered greatly. I had lost my trust in man, and lost my faith in God. I only attended the summit because I had signed up a couple of months prior and would have to pay a fee to back out.
I did not attend the summit in person; I attended a satellite viewing locally. I watched the events on a screen and I felt distant from the summit itself, like I didn't quite fit in and had nothing to gain from it.
The only thing I remember clearly from that summit is the presentation you gave. I remember they handed out a piece of paper with song lyrics in a different language, and I almost left! I felt out of place and wanted to sit in my grief elsewhere. I made the decision to stay for five minutes of your talk and then choose if I was going to stay or leave.
Well, five minutes into it, I was hooked. In hindsight, what an amazing experience!! Hundreds of people were in on this satellite summit here in Orange County, CA, and they were all actively engaged and participating... SINGING happy birthday to a stranger who wasn't even in the room!! Then we sang AGAIN at the end! I still remember some of the words... froy der sher der... (sorry for the spelling errors!)
I can't explain the way I felt in that room but I do know it is something I haven't experienced since. I remember you played a song and told us to think of someone we had lost, and I really felt that you were speaking directly to my heart. I immediately began to cry, for the first time since my loss. I cried for days. Even as I write this I have tears flowing down my face remembering how truly incredible that was for me. It was a spiritual experience and a moment from God... I knew it was exactly where I needed to be in that moment.
Dealing with my loss wasn't easy for me. I made a lot of terrible decisions and spent a lot of time dealing with things in negative ways. I put that experience on the back burner of my mind. A few years after that summit my life had headed far downhill, and I believe I reached bottom. Luckily, people who care about me intervened and I found the help I needed. When I was on my road to healing and recovery, I found my notes from the summit in an old journal of mine that I was throwing away.
I re-read the notes in 2004 from the presentation you gave, and I remembered vividly what that experience at the summit was like for me, and I remembered how it felt, and I cried! 3 years later the experience meant more to me than it did at the time. I made a decision that day in May of 2004 to make another change. I began participating in life. It started with sitting in the front row at school. My grade point average was a 1.0 when I returned to school!
Participating in life has saved my life! I sat in the front and from there learned how to suit up and show up! Since, I have made some more changes and am thriving in my environment. I joined the student government at school and last year I had the honor to serve as the president. I was also named the "Outstanding Student of the Year" at my college! I was given the opportunity to speak at my commencement as well. What a change! How incredible my life is today!
I constantly reflect on what I heard for the first time that day in 2001. That I have value! You taught me to get involved in life. To sit in the front row. I have found myself constantly reviewing my notes from that day, all of them about living differently and staying away from the downward spiral. They are tattered and torn, but something I treasure greatly.
I now work in a helping profession, and recently stumbled across your website. I watched a short video clip of yours and it immediately brought me to tears. I have such powerful emotion tied to the message you give because it was a lifesaver for me.
So... in conclusion, Thank You Ben Zander. Thank you for being such an inspirational, motivational and incredible man. You have truly touched my heart in a way no other person has. I am eternally grateful for the work you do.
Sincerely,
Rebecca Cunningham
P.S. I wanted to ask, is there a way to get your DVD at a reduced cost? It is just for my use and the cost seems a bit high. I've began saving for it but I feel it will take me quite a while. Also, Will you ever be speaking in California at any event that I can attend?
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Magic (Click to reply)
submitted: 12/23/2007 4:16 AM
by: bz@benjaminzander.com
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Dear Yiyin,
I am still pretty stunned by your playing of the Schubert in class.
You are amazing!
The look on your face when you understood how to make the different
parts work in one tempo was simply priceless and I won't forget it!
It is moments like that, when suddenly magic happens, that makes my
life as a teacher so incredibly rewarding.
Thank you
Warmest regards
Ben Zander
Dear teacher Mr. Zander
I am so happy that you send me email. Thank you so much for giving us such a wonderful class everyweek. Everytime I learnt so many things from you, not only about how to play the music more about is upgrade the whole spirit and I can feel different from everything I see and I do. This class has changed my life. Thank you again for everything you giving to us. It will works till
the end of my life. Also, I need to say sorry about my english, I dont know many fancy words, everytime you read people's white sheet I feel so sad, you know that I have the feeling but I can't speak out. I will work on my english hard. Thank you again, and see you on the wonderful friday.
your student
Yiyin |
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Uppwards into possibility (Click to reply)
submitted: 11/29/2007 10:23 PM
by: RSH@uppingham.co.uk
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Dear Ben
I'm so thrilled that you came back to Uppingham and there is already a remarkable ripple/ radiation effect going on. The whole place is having conversations about your visit and the sessions. Thank you so much! I have asked Fiona to arrange for the blogs etc from our intranet to be put on to our website so you (and others) can see what is being said by some of the pupils. There are sceptics too, of course, and that is all part of the excitement and challenge. For me, the biggest privilege was sitting in on the Sunday evening session in the Drama Studio, but the whole thing was just great.
Did you ever get to see the new Paul David Music School?
I've been asked by some pupils if they can email you but I don't want to give them this address which I assume is your private one? Should they use the address on your website? They have some questions, which is really encouraging.
Thank you again; I hope your travels have gone well and that you enjoyed the return visit- and I hope it helped to heal some memories for you, too.
Yours ever,
Richard |
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Your Talk At Uppingham School (Click to reply)
submitted: 11/26/2007 11:44 AM
by: 6greeni@uppingham.co.uk
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Dear Mr Zander,
Yesterday you came to visit my school at Uppingham. I was really inspired by your talks about possibility and I have a very different attitude to other people since hearing you talk about it.
Thankyou so much, it was a life-chaging talk
Felicity Greenish |
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RE:Your Talk At Uppingham School (Click to reply)
submitted: 11/26/2007 11:04 PM
by: bz@benjaminzander.com
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Felicity,
I am so happy that my presentation made a difference to your attitude to others. It was a special privilege to come back to my old school after 54 years. I wonder how many other kids thought that they had had
a "life changing" experience?
warmest best wishes
and give at least one person an "A" today, whom, you had previously given a B minus.
Love
Ben Zander |
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Your Talk in Kent (Click to reply)
submitted: 11/23/2007 12:52 PM
by: deprice1@btinternet.com
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Dear Mr Zander
I didn't get a chance to thank you after you gave your talk to the Kent headteachers. So my message is just that - thank you so much. It was a pure joy to be inspired and to share the experience with my colleagues.
PS I'm not a headteacher or even a teacher but I don't think it made a difference to the impact. |
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RE:Your Talk in Kent (Click to reply)
submitted: 11/24/2007 12:42 AM
by: bz@benjaminzander.com
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What a delight to hear from you! I had a wonderful time in Kent and, of course, Possibility applies to everyone. I was especially moved by the young guy who said at the end he was Gobsmacked. His whole demeanor (sorry, I lost my "u"'s somewhere along the way during 42 years in America) was transformed. He was the best possible example of Possibility in action.
Warm regards
Ben |
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Possibilities in the Corporate World (Click to reply)
submitted: 10/22/2007 6:05 PM
by: lswengineer@yahoo.com
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Hi Ben,
Last year a client of mine recommended I read "The Art of Possibility." The book reasonated strongly with me and I find myself giving away copies of the book to various people who crossed my path.
I have tried to introduce some of the ideas to family members and co-workers, with varying degrees of success. Like most new ideas, receptiveness varies greatly.
I am interested in learning about workplace situations where "staff" members were able to effectively engage "possibility" thinking into corporate / structured situations. Situations such as employee evaluations or dealing with difficult people or difficult situations are of particular interest.
As an engineer, I am used to working with straight-line thinkers (focused on "standards") who may miss opportunities for creative, collaborate, and innovative approaches or solutions to issues. I am interested in engaging in dialogue with other technical professionals with similar interests.
Thank you for your extensive website and this forum.
Lori
PS Any chance you will be speaking or conducting in Phoenix, AZ soon?
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Mahler and Ives (Click to reply)
submitted: 10/21/2007 4:38 AM
by: rogeranewton@msn.com
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Good morning, Mr. Zander:
I am a retired Lutheran pastor and I now have time to explore the music of Mahler in much more depth than I ever had before. Also, having lived many years in Connecticut, I grew to love the music of Charles Ives, especially Ives' Third Symphony, "The Camp Meeting." I know that Mahler took a copy of the Ives Third to Austria with him in 1911 but died that year before he could perform it there.
Your performance of the Mahler Third and your lecture about it on Telarc have helped me to appreciate Mahler's Third on a deeper level than before. And "reading between the lines" of your lecture, I now understand more clearly than before the deep affinity which Mahler must have felt with the musical rebel Ives. Both men loved to combine the musically sublime with the grotesque, discordant sounds of nature with Viennese elegance, military marches with sad laments, etc. Ives' Third is like a miniature restrained reflection of the huge Mahler Third. Of course Ives refrained from bringing the human voice into his Third, but it is obvious from Ives' songs that he was not a good writer for voice and his Third Symphony reveals that Ives was aware of that weakness.
Do you by any chance know of any comments which Mahler may have written, or which others may have overheard from Mahler, concerning Ives or his music?
Thank you for the music and the insights into it.
Respectfully,
Roger A. Newton
Philadelphia, PA |
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transformation (Click to reply)
submitted: 10/7/2007 5:44 AM
by: from bz@benjaminzander.com
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COMMENTS: Mr. Zander,
I was fortunate enough to have had the privilege to hear you speak at our
conference in San Francisco yesterday. (I happened to be in
the back row and you gave me a front row seat! Thanks!).
I was compelled to write and let you know that not only did you keep me
(and my colleagues) completely engaged and entertained, but for me
personally you have stimulated not only a new found perspective for
coaching and engaging my people, but you also instilled in me a new found
interest in classical music.
I grew up in a musical family of singers, accordion players and guitarists
(I play guitar myself - I own 4 of them) and I have been lucky to have
been surrounded by music all of my life. However I was never exposed to classical music. My exposure was to folk/traditional, irish/rock/Jazz/Blues/contemporary music because I grew up in a very small
town in Newfoundland and this was the most popular music of the time AND it was what my parents listened to. I became very closed minded in my musical interests and tastes. However, when you
played the Chopin piece yesterday and asked us to think about someone we had recently lost - it was as if you switched on something in me that was new - I actually "felt" the
piece and I have never been so moved by the beauty of music, nor did I
ever grasp the "emotional expression" of a piece of music so strongly. I
have to say that sitting there amongst my peers I was reduced to tears -
not only because of a recent loss of a close friend, but I simply closed
my eyes and became lost in the piece -I THINK I TRULY LISTENED AND HEARD MUSIC FOR THE FIRST TIME! And I have to say that I loved it!! The final
piece you played (I think you said it was Motzart?) once again - I was
able to truly listen to the wonderful sounds that
emanated from the piano and went through the room. I was lost once again. I really appreciated
how you worked with the cellist (Charles) and helped him to "bring out"
even more wonderful tones by changing the pace and the emphasis of
specific notes. It was truly amazing for me to watch and listen. I
think you have created a "new" classical music fan!!
So the purpose of this missive is to thank you for opening this
accountant's eyes to musical wonder and beauty that had
previously escaped me. I also want to thank you for inspiring me to
inspire, to consider "possibility" and move away from those
"downward spirals". You are truly inspirational ! So thank you Mr.
Zander and I hope you have a "Perfect day" and may all of your
errors/problems be "fascinating"!!
Best regards
Steve
ps you mentioned a CD set of classical music with accompanying commentary
about underlying meaning of the music. I would love to find and purchase
this as my second step in my metamorphosis into a true and appreciative
fan of classical music. So please let me know the name of the CD so I can
start my new journey into the Classical Realm!
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RE:transformation (Click to reply)
submitted: 10/7/2007 5:51 AM
by: bz@benjaminzander.com
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Steve,
It is very moving for me when I hear a story like yours.
The CD's are to be found at Telarc or you can go on Amazon.com.
There is one by Beethoven (5&7th symphonies) and Mahler's 1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th and 9th symphonies.
ALL of them have a complete full-length free CD that explains the music, so if you listen to all of them you will certainly get a pretty in depth musical education!
Happy listening
Warm wishes
BZ |
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books (Click to reply)
submitted: 9/25/2007 11:15 AM
by: bebol@fulton.k12.ga.us
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Hello Ben,
I recently read your book The Art of Possibility and absolutely loved it.
Not only was the content so valuable but the anecdotal stories were so
entertaining. It was the best book I have read in a LONG LONG
time....I know that you probably hear this praise all the time but after
reading the book I feel duty bound to ask you for a favor!
I am the 7th grade level chair at a school close to Atlanta and we have
been working on implementing teaming amongst the school. I have 4 team
leaders who work below me and they are fantastic human beings. I am
constantly thinking of new ways to make the 28 teachers in my department
feel like they are appreciated and to help encourage them that they can
make a real difference in the lives of their students. I write them silly
poems and find inspirational short stories to share with them. I will
leave a white rose on their desk and do raffles for little token gifts.
However, after reading the story you wrote of the woman who was in debt
and asked her mother for money every year to make ends meet I thought of
my situation. I am always doing LITTLE things- never anything HUGE that
will make such an impact that will stay with my teachers. The advice you
and Ros gave was for the woman to go and ask for a larger amount of money
in order for her to change her life. So....with this knowledge in mind I
come to you asking for something. It is my wish that every single teacher
in the 7th grade at my school have a copy of your book in order for them
to feel the emotions I felt and for me to be able to share with them your
remarkable insights. However, as I am sure you are aware, (being a teacher
yourself) I do not make the type of money that allows me the luxury of
buying whatever I want for them. (Well, I could but my husband may get
annoyed as the mortgage bill would go unpaid one month!!!!)
I was wondering if you, or Penguin, could possibly donate 28 copies of the
book. I am sure that you are probably thinking that I may be out of line
to ask, or that it just isn't good business for you, or any number of
things....but....I figured I could just ask.....The worst you can do is
just say "no" or ignore me completely I guess! I am a big believer in
human kindness, and after reading your book, I sense you are too. You
encourage people to think big as demonstrated in your school visit with
your orchestra. So...that is my big wish for the moment. The teachers at
my school work so hard and give so much everyday that they deserve a
little pat on the back. Your book would be the gift that would keep
giving....
Please let me know if there is anyway at all you could help me with this
dream of mine. You are an incredible writer and I look forward to
hearing back from you....
Thank you so much.....Have a great weekend....
Lizzie Haber
7th Grade Level Chair- AMMS
Social Studies/ Science Teacher
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RE:books (Click to reply)
submitted: 9/25/2007 11:16 AM
by: bz@benjaminzander.com
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Lizzie,
What a beautiful letter. I would be happy to buy the 28 books from Penguin and send them to you.
I will try to get Roz to sign them if she will be in town before they are sent, but I will certainly do so myself.
Incidentally Roz is the "beautiful writer".
It sounds to me as though you are doing incredibly valuable work. What a joy it must be for the teachers to work for you!
Who knows, if my travels take me to Atlanta, I might pop in one day!!
Loads of love
and warmest best wishes
Ben |
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South Africa (Click to reply)
submitted: 9/21/2007 3:30 AM
by: victorvdlamini@mac.com
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Dear Ben, I trust that you're well and that you're flying on that infinite arc of possibility that you so eloquently etched into my consciousness when you came into our part of the world bringing with you such a palpable zest for life. I do hope that you have now been able to hear our chat together, it is of course still available as a link on my recent podcast listed on the right if you click on the link below. I do hope to see you when I visit New York sometime later in the year. The head honcho of South African football, Dr Irvin Khoza whom you met briefly outside the Melrose Arch hotel was most touched by your profound suggestion regarding the penalty rule and each time I meet him he reminds me of you. Fondest regards, Victor
http://victordlamini.book.co.za/
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RE:South Africa (Click to reply)
submitted: 9/21/2007 3:42 AM
by: bz@benjaminzander.com
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Dear Victor,
It was exciting to have a chance to discuss the possibility of a rule change in soccer with the man actually in charge of the game in South Africa - especially with the World Cup coming up so soon. I have always lamented the introduction of penalty kicks as a way of ending a drawn game. It is neither soccer, not a fitting way to end, because it is so heavily weighted to test a single player: the goal-keeper. A TEAM game should never come down to the success or failure (or luck) of a single player.
Rather my solution that, after overtime, the teams be reduced to 7 players, puts the pressure where it belongs, on the skill and endurance of the seven best players that each team can muster. It would be exciting and certainly provide a speedy conclusion. Most important of all it would be soccer, not another game called Penalty Kicking.
Can you ask Dr Khosa if they would introduce it into a few games there, so that people could be asked to respond. The publicity around the soccer world would certainly draw some welcome attention to South Africa during the lead up to the World Cup.
It was wonderful being with you. It seems that another visit to Southy Africa is being planned for next August, with performances of Beethoven's Ninth!
Warm wishes
Ben
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Hi Mr Zander (Click to reply)
submitted: 9/7/2007 8:04 AM
by: jiaweiihue_kl@hotmail.com
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Dear Mr Zander
Do you remember me from your visit to Kuala Lumpur roughly around 3 years ago? You conducted Mahler 9th and I was the one who commented that you reminded me of the great Stowkowski.
Thanks to your inspiration, in reference to the art of possibility, I am finally achieving my dream of pursuing a career as a classical violinist at the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama! Are you planning on making any tours to Glasgow? Would be nice to see you in action once again!
Cheers
Jia Weii |
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RE:Hi Mr Zander (Click to reply)
submitted: 9/29/2007 4:01 AM
by: bz@benjaminzander.com
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Jia,
I do remember that comment. I accepted it in good grace: Stokowski was one of the most blatantly
manipulative conductors who ever lived (he was born Leo Stokes in the East End of London and cultivated a foreign accent to go with his new name and exploited his magnificent profile and mane of flowing white hair to add to the myth of the Maestro.
However he was also a magnificently talented musician - though often (some wouldsay always) exhibiting questionable taste.
To some extent, the sound of the modern symphony orchestra, certainly of the Philadelphia orchestra, was
influenced by Stokowski's remarkable concet of sound. He also felt free to change the composers' music as he pleased. I have a very different modus operandi. I believe that being the ruthless servant of the great composers is a more worthy path.
However, it is flattering to be told that one reminds someone of a larger-than-life figure of almost mythical stature - so I accept the comparison with a large dollop of Rule No 6!
I am very happy that your brush with Possibility in Kuala Lumpur led you to follow your dream.
I was just in Scotland. I wish I had known.
warmest wishes
Ben
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Thank you from the bottom of my heart (Click to reply)
submitted: 8/31/2007 10:56 AM
by: jonathan.munshi@gmail.com
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Dear Benjamin and Rosamund Zander,
I just finished reading your book “The Art of Possibility”. As I read it, I was frequently moved to tears. It brought into focus a world that I once believed existed, but one that I felt was gone from my life forever. In the book, in almost every passage of the book, I heard once again the faint murmuring of a voice that had stopped singing to me a long time ago.
I am a man nearing the half-century mark. For the better part of my adult life, I worked as a technologist and team leader at General Electric and, as a single parent, raised two wonderful children- a girl and a boy. Then it all began to unravel.
In October, 1999, while I was in Brazil on business, Bina, my daughter, was struck by a hit-and-run driver as she was returning home from a walk with her dog. The phone call bearing the news came in the middle of the night. By the following morning, as I walked along Copacabana Beach, the sand turning gold and yellow and sliver in the first light of the morning sun, Bina was pronounced dead. In reality, she had been dead from the moment her aunt and boyfriend had found her, hours earlier, at the edge of a road next to her dog.
It took me a few years to feel the full impact of the loss. Bina and I had been close- spiritual twins, some people used to say. She was my daughter and also my best friend. She was a sister to Eric and also her mother. We were a tiny little world unto ourselves, held together with a powerful sense of belonging.
When the realization finally came that Bina was gone, I was wholly unprepared to deal with it. In my characteristic way, I tried to face the “problem” head on. Over the years, I had developed a false sense of confidence in my abilities. I could do anything I set my mind to, I believed. But here was a force that I did not recognize, one that did not seem to bend to my will. I fell into clinical depression, and into the bottle.
By August of 2003, I was barely able to function. Unable to cope with unrelenting pressure in my chest, a grief that did not seem to have any malleable form, and the shame of not being able to give any support to my son even as he asked for it, I attempted suicide. I failed.
I spent the rest of 2003 and the first quarter of 2004 in and out treatment, most of that time inside a treatment facility in Upstate New York. It was then, while I was still inside the psychiatric facility, that a friend sent me a copy of your book. I read the first twenty pages and sat it down. Salvation, not enlightenment, was what I needed, I thought.
After I left the hospital, everyone agreed that it would be a good idea for me to get away for a while. I came to Bangladesh- the place where I was born, and where my youngest brother and my parents still lived. I was in Bangladesh for a few months, recovering, and preparing to come back to the States when, one early morning, I received an urgent message from my son to call him. It was 8 o’clock on the East Coast, on a Sunday evening in August.
It was my son’s trembling voice on the phone that told me that the thin and tattered lifeline that I had been holding on to so tenaciously was about to snap. Earlier that day, Eric, my son, and his girlfriend were on their way to have dinner with his mother and grandmother. A few blocks from home, still inside the development where we lived, Eric remembered that he had left something behind. He turned around and headed back home. As he rounded a corner, he noticed a man crossing the road in front of him. The man, he recalled later, had already made it most of the way across the street. Still, Eric concluded that he needed to take evasive actions to avoid hitting the man. As Eric turned the car to the left the man turned around and headed back in the direction he had come from. Man and car, flesh and steel came together in a flash. The man flew over the top of the car and came to rest on the grass by the side of the road. Eric panicked, fled the scene, and drove home.
I pleaded with Eric to turn himself in to the Police, but he had already made his decision. He said to me: “Dad, you raised me to respect life, all life. I can’t live with the knowledge that I may have just taken one. There is only one solution to this problem.” Then he hung up. In that moment, it occurred to me that those were the last words that might ever be spoken between us. I started getting ready to leave. In between my preparations, I called our home every few minutes, but nobody answered. Eric was nowhere to be found. No one knew where he had gone. As it turned out later, he had gone walking in the woods behind our house. Late that night, Eric snuck back into the house. He made himself a comfortable resting place in the bathtub, and cut both wrists.
Maybe it was luck, or Divine Intervention…I will never know. But, at 6 in the morning, Eric’s girlfriend came by the house looking for him. She discovered him in the bathtub, lifeless. When they wheeled him into the emergency room and from there to the operating theater, his blood pressure had dropped to zero. Luckily, the doctors managed to revive him. Later, the surgeon who repaired Eric’s severed wrists, and brought him back to life said that he had come to within minutes of his death. As Eric was fighting for his life, the man whom Eric had struck lost his in a different hospital, leaving behind a wife and two young boys.
What followed was six months of legal wranglings, blames and recriminations, threatening phone calls, and relentless news coverage vilifying Eric as a heartless monster who deserved to die. I tried to console myself with the knowledge that Eric was not a terrible human being. In fact, I knew him to be one of the most sensitive and empathetic people I had ever known.
In March of 2005, it all came to its inevitable end. Eric was sentenced to 4-8 years in prison. He sobbed as he stood for his sentencing. After Eric was taken away, I locked myself in the house, unable to eat or drink. Days and nights passed, then became one. The patterns on the walls came alive and turned into monsters, and I entered a world of visions. One day, I came to, face down on the hallway floor, with deep gashes on my forehead and legs, bleeding in a field of broken glass. Unable to stand up, I crawled back to bed and passed into oblivion. A few days or weeks later- I really don’t know how much time had passed- one of my neighbors found me in bed, unconscious. I was admitted to a local hospital where I spent two weeks in the Psychiatric ward. When I was released, my youngest brother escorted me back to Bangladesh. That was May, 2005.
Since then, I have lived here in Bangladesh, convalescing, and swinging like a pendulum between the two opposing states of hopelessness and tentative joy. I have tried to rebuild my life, by finding a job and exploring business opportunities. I have contemplated writing a book or making a film- the two things that have always been inside my gut, always churning. But nothing seemed to come together. The larger world seemed always just a bit beyond my reach. My frustrations grew. Try as I might, I just couldn’t work it out.
Then, about a month ago, I picked up your book once again. When I came to Bangladesh two years ago, it was one of the few personal possessions I had brought with me. It had sat on my bookshelf all along, pressed between other half-digested books. I began to read.
From the very beginning- from the very moment the little girl in a London hotel turned, smiling, and walked out the door into a world of possibilities- the book took me by the throat. Every passage, every observation, every personal story seemed to speak directly to me. Here, at last, was a concrete description of the magical world I once thought existed. Words and passages came to life and began to sing. And, for the first time in many years, I could feel the beating of my heart.
I realized that I have been living in world of downward spirals: I am a failure… I have thrown away my whole life… I don’t fit in here...New York is where I belong… Maybe if I had been with Eric on that fateful Sunday…Maybe if I hadn’t pushed Bina away in the summer of 1999…Maybe…Maybe. I was living in a morass of self-pity and blame and utter selfishness, a world devoid of any beauty, or grace, or possibilities.
I realized also that I was trying to do once more what my education and exquisite training at GE has taught me- to become the master of my own little universe, to dominate it, and to “make it happen.” I realized that I was trying to squeeze the world into my own little box of expectations. And, in the process I had stopped listening to the beat of life itself.
Not anymore. Your book has taught me to stop becoming the conductor and start becoming the player. I wake up every morning now and prick my ears to the possibilities of the day. I have found the grace to forgive myself for the mistakes of my past, real and imagined. I have found the courage to let myself become the board where life may set up its game. Still, old habits die hard, and I find myself falling back to the ways of the past. But, at least now, I am finely tuned to its chatter.
I don’t know how things will turn out. I am even less sure of what my next move will be. But, no matter. I will first listen to the rhythm of life. To paraphrase Anna Quindlen: I’ll show up. I’ll listen. And I’ll try to laugh.
Thank you for this wonderful gift in its bright yellow wrapping.
Thank you for the gift of hope.
With Best Regards,
Jonathan Munshi
P. S. I am planning to send a copy of the book to my son. I think he needs a little grace too.
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RE:Thank you from the bottom of my heart (Click to reply)
submitted: 8/31/2007 11:25 AM
by: bz@benjaminzander.com
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Jonathan,
I was deeply moved by your letter, especially by your bravery in the
face of what seem insuperable odds.
I was wondering if you might allow me to put your letter up on my web-
site? It seems to me that your story, your courage and your new
discoveries could be an inspiration to so many people. I can
imagine others reading your story and pulling themselves out of their
despair and rediscovering the "rhythm of life". Perhaps, this is
where your new path lies - in your extraordinary ability to
articulate in simple moving terms what it is to suffer; to finely
attune one's ear to the chatter of “old thinking” and to emerge with
new energy and purpose. If you could do that, in writing, speaking,
sharing, it could make a difference to so many people. It made a
difference to me today.
I send my love and the grace of possibility. Roz says: POSSIBILITY
IS ALWAYS ONLY ONE SENTENCE AWAY.
Did you send the book to your son?
Warmest wishes
Ben
Dear Ben and Roz:
I am not sure how to express my sentiments at this moment, after reading your email. It's would be an understatement to say that I am overwhelmed. Your kind and encouraging words have given me immense strength!
I was also moved- and bit shaken- by your suggestion that I let you post my letter on your website. I hadn't really counted on sharing it with anyone, except for you and two of my closest friends and, of course, Eric. But, if my experience serves as a source of inspiration, as you suggested, to even a few of your readers, then I am ready to do just that. As one of those two friends said to me: "Look what an impact that book had on you! But, if the Zanders hadn't written the book, if the people in the book hadn't had the courage to share their stories...?"
So, yes, please feel free to post my letter on your website.
Thank you really for taking the time to write to me. It meant a lot to me, especially given the fact that you're both very busy people. I have yet to send a copy of the book to Eric. I am planning to buy it online from Amazon in the next few days, have it delivered to a friend, who can then hand-carry or mail it to him. (I don't know how the prison officials would feel about receiving a package from Amazon.)
Bangladesh is a country that is in a perpetually downward spiral. There is so much potential here, yet all of that is forgotten in the struggle for survival, for getting ahead. There is, in everyone- well, among the business and political leaders- a palpable sense of urgency, as though the sky will fall tomorrow and they must take whatever they can now and run. It's all win-lose. I hope these people could hear your message. I will be looking for opportunity to someday bring you here :-)
The father of one of my aforementioned friends is the preeminent scholar of English and German literature in Bangladesh, and carries the honorary title of "The National Professor of Bangladesh". His name is Prof. Kabir Chowdhuri...an extraordinary man, scholarly and full of humanity. Prof. Chowdhuri has translated many of the important literary works of English and German languages into Bangla. I plan to let him read your book. I would also like to see him someday translate your book into Bangla. Wild thought, but one that is intriguing. If and when you feel that you may want to do that, please let me know.
Please tell Roz that, I think, I understand her message. I wish you well in all your endeavors.
With love and Best Wishes for both of you,
Jonathan
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RE:Thank you from the bottom of my heart (Click to reply)
submitted: 9/2/2007 8:50 AM
by: bz@benjaminzander.com
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Your beautiful letter is now on the website. Thank you for the gift.
Last night I met a wonderful young woman who works for Telenor (the Norwegian telephone company) and she is in the office in Bangladesh and she is the Head of Brands and Customer Service for Grameenphone, the offshoot of the Grameen Bank, which works with Mohammed Younis. I told her about you and shewould like to meet you. A pebble thrown in the pond of life - who knows where the ripples will go? I think the Grameen Bank venture is one of the most inspiring social experiments in human history.
With warmest love and deepest respect
Ben
Dear Ben:
Thank you immensely for putting my letter up on your website. I do hope that it'll be a source of inspiration to some, in the way Roz's and your book has been for me. I'm telling all my friends and family members about your book. The responses have been immediate, and overwhelmingly enthusiastic, even among friends who're not readers. I think we all have deep longing to connect with a larger world, a world of possibility.
I made arrangements to get a copy of the book to Eric. I'm also planning to send a copy to Mrs. Gully, the widow of the man who died in Eric's hit-and-run accident. From what I gather, she is overwhelmed with grief, and still very much bent on revenge. Hopefully, she'll accept the book as a gesture of my deeply-felt sorrow for her loss, and my prayer that she'll find some peace.
This is a small pond indeed! Six degrees of separation, compressed to two in this case! I don't know the lady you mention personally, but I know who she is. It would be a pleasure for me to meet her. Please feel free to share my email address with her. I'll also try to get in touch with her from my end.
Think about coming to Bangladesh someday. They could use your message here. I imagine you know Dr. Yunus. I'd think he would welcome such an idea.
Ben, Roz and you have been a tremendous inspiration for me. I can't repay that in kind. Instead, I simply wish for all the beautiful bounties of life for the two of you.
With love and best wishes,
Jon
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RE:Thank you from the bottom of my heart (Click to reply)
submitted: 9/2/2007 8:57 AM
by: bz@benjaminzander.com
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Dear Jon,
I met Dr Yunus about fifteen years ago at The State of The World Forum in San Francisco. He had launched the Grameen Bank and was telling us all about the miracles that had occured in the few years of its activity. He said that the next plan he had was to launch a program to provide cell phones for the women in the network, so that they could communicate with their customers. And now, here we are, I am in Norway speaking to Telenor , which has become a partner of the Grameen Bank and I am introducing you to Rubaba, who is the ambassador of the Brand! Will miracles never cease? No indeed, they will proliferate endlessly.
more (and more) love
Ben |
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feedback to Ben and Roz (Click to reply)
submitted: 8/28/2007 5:56 AM
by: info@chaelicampaign.co.za
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From: Zelda @ Chaeli Campaign [mailto:info@chaelicampaign.co.za]
Sent: 16 August 2007 03:30 PM
To: louise@symphonia.net
Subject: FW: Feedback to Ben & Roz Zander
Dear Ben & Roz
Thank you for your enthusiasm in wanting to make a difference by changing people’s perspective of what it is possible to achieve, if you only have the correct mindset to be agents of change. People often think that positive change will occur when an external catalyst touches their lives, and they often spend months (even years) waiting for this to occur. Your message encapsulates the idea that all the elements to create ALL that each one of us wants, is lodged within each one of us. It’s all reliant on the way in which we order this information: how excited we are about the potential that exists in adversity and how we invite our minds to see the possible solutions. The last action is then to open our eyes, heart and mind to these possibilities and to embrace the abundance and success that each of us so richly deserves.
My family has been blessed by having Chaeli’s disabilities (cerebral palsy & a degenerative neuropathy) allow us to experience what might have been an otherwise unseen world. Chaeli’s positive approach to her disABILITY has been inspirational and enriching and supports your philosophy of great things being possible in every situation. What many people could and do perceive as a great hindrance and weakness (Chaeli as a disabled person) has been a window of opportunity, learning and growth. It resulted in the founding of The Chaeli Campaign, employment of mom, dad and two other adults and life-changing partnering of the needs of hundreds of differently-abled children. Chaeli, as an ambassador for the differently-abled, has her disabilities to thank for creating bridges of communication and growing opportunities for her, her sister and friends and all who know her and work with her. This is a blessing and an opportunity borne of recognising the possibility to make a difference.
Thank you so much for your kind words, Roz, during the session on Saturday morning, 4 August 2007. Your affirmation of Chaeli’s spirit of possibility-thinking rendered me speechless and in tears. A mother’s heart always expands with joy when her children do well and receive recognition for their actions. But your acknowledgement of the way in which Chaeli has touched lives and the way in which she lives ‘hope’ made me realise anew that great things don’t exist ‘out there’ in the great unknown – something to hanker after and strive for, but eternally unattainable. Greatness exists in our midst, in the hearts of our partners and children, and in our thoughts and words which have the power to realise powerful actions which affect not only ourselves, but all who touch us. Thank you for bringing this home to me again.
Love
Zelda
Zelda Mycroft
CEO: The Chaeli Campaign
Chaeli Cottage
18 Culm Road
Plumstead
Cape Town
7800
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Learning To Play A Musical Instrument (Click to reply)
submitted: 8/15/2007 11:39 AM
by: masooda.fadal@hiv-research.org.za
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Dear Mr. Zander,
Your video was introduced in our coaching class as a means to demonstrate how coaches create the space for people to be.
If I asked you: Is it possible for someone to learn to play music after 30 years of age-you would probably say yes!
BZ: You are right.
So I am going to ask if you ever taught or know of someone who has taken up music for the first time after this age and who was still able to make a contribution?
BZ: Two old men were sitting outside a pub in Vermont. "How's your wife", says one, puffing on his pipe. After a pause (much puffing), the other removes HIS pipe from his mouth and murmurs: "Compared to what?"
By its nature, "contribution", in our sense, cannot be measured. Therefore your question: "who is still able to make a contribution" begs the question. Compared to what? I think the relevant question is: "can someone derive joy and satisfaction from taking up an instrument at a later age", the answer is definitely yes. My brother, a busy and successful law professor, took up the cello at 50 and now derives extraordinary solace from playing orchestra and chamber music. Do his neighbors find it a contribution? You would have to ask them? But his loved ones certainly appreciate the joy (and occasionally pride) that shines out of his face.
If so-How would one decide on an instrument?
BZ: Whatever draws you. Cello is beautiful and easier than the violin. The wind instruments tend to be easier, except the oboe and the horn ( avoid the latter like the plague). The flute is easiest, but there are more of them and the repertoire is more limited than strings. The piano is the natural one, because you don't have to depend on others to make music. However, it is also the loneliest, because you don't have to depend on others to make music. The viola is usually in demand and so is (most of all) the bassoon.
The famous educational philosopher John Holt ("How Children Fail") had a dream that he would one day play the second cello part in the Schubert Quintett for two cellos before he died and he achieved his goal, though he began after the age of 50! I didn't hear the performance, but, then who cares? Incidentally, he wrote a book about his experience called: "Never too late". He was right.
Very few Moslem women take up music early on and even less follow through. I doubt it is because of talent. It seems to me, to be more about ambivalence around what music represents. I was deeply moved when I listened to the lady (with the flower in her hair) sing on your video.
She was to me the symbol of possibility.
BZ: I doubt that talent has much to do with it. Everybody brought up in France speaks French. Are they specially talented? No. We know that because it turns out that everyone brought up in Iceland speaks Icelandic. It is a matter of environment. Let's get everyone to play the violin (Suzuki did) or play in orchestras (Jose Antonio Abreu did in Venezuela - google his spectacularly fantastic story). I think everyone comes into the world capable of singing (and dancing). It is life (and standards) that intervene. I believe in Original Possibility not Original Sin. So, get going and overcome the ambivalence! Ambivalence rarely produces great joy or achievement.
I was moved by her too. We all were. We are all "symbols of Possibility", if only we could let go of assumptions and expectations. It is the human condition.
Thank you
BZ: Thank YOU!
-Masooda
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Growing Up (Click to reply)
submitted: 8/8/2007 8:04 AM
by: tumim@comutanet.co.za
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I haven't read your book, and I did not know a Ben Zander until I received an invitation to come see your lecture in Johanneburg, South Africa. As I read the reviews from the readers of your book, I am certain that I will read it. I found myself in a bitter position this past weekend, and learned the meaning of betrayal. From family and friends. Oh, what a lesson learned. But I managed to hold my head high and walk away with my dignity (at the time I thought... shame!)
I believe your book will help restore the confidence I had before the past weekend, and I am buying it as an early birthday present for myself. Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend your seminar, but it was a God-send to receive the invitation!! |
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A refreshed teacher (Click to reply)
submitted: 7/27/2007 11:17 AM
by: carolineb25@hotmail.com
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Dear Mr. Zander,
I came to see you speak in Boston, Massachusetts with the YMCA AYP Leadership Conference. I am not an employee of the YMCA, but my father is, and I attended the sessions as a guest.
I am a teacher. I loved listening to your perspective on leadership and life, and feel so eager to start teaching in the fall with a newfound love for life, leadership, and the "possibilities".
I am one of those people who loves classical music, but didn't know it until I heard you play Chopin on the piano.
Thank you. Thank you for your inspiration and gift of a wonderful perspective on life, and giving me more meanings for my work, death, birthdays, music, food, and relationships.
I am working on telling that little voice inside of me that I am busy, but that is my largest challenge.
Can't wait to see you again! |
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thank you (Click to reply)
submitted: 7/23/2007 9:37 AM
by: rachelvarennes@gmail.com
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Back on the plane from Orlando, I devored your book (The Art of Possibility) and it was the "perfect" suite for your lecture.
Thank you for showing me that not only possibilities are in my own power but also that
1) the limitations that I perceived are chimeric walls designed by the other voice
2)that stopping finding excuses can be "fascinating"
THANKS :-) |
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Thank You and Looking for an Article (Click to reply)
submitted: 7/22/2007 4:29 PM
by: mpaul05@earthlink.net
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Hi Maestro Zander,
I just wanted to say Thank You for giving me a free ticket to see the Boston Philharmonic. I called up a while ago and left a message that I really wanted to see the concert and could not afford a ticket and someone called me back right away and said "come on in I am sure we will have an extra seat". I am very grateful for that.
I was also told that at one time you were trying to fill up the concert hall and invited all the homeless people in for the concert. That created alot of static and you said "you told me to fill up the concert hall, and every seat is taken". I guess there was a big write up in the newspaper about it and I would love to see the article. Could you please email it to me or just let me know what the title of the article is so I can find it myself.
Thank You,
Rita Paul
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Direction of error (Click to reply)
submitted: 7/13/2007 4:01 PM
by: roberta.rominger@zen.co.uk
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Hello Ben,
I managed to sit in on several of your London Master Classes with the young conductors. Very intrigued to know what you meant when you said that the "direction of error" of possibility was fascism. Something about fear?
The classes were outstanding and I enjoyed them hugely -- thank you! I went away with batteries recharged. Beethoven has accompanied me for most of the last week -- fantastic!
Bless you!
Roberta Rominger |
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a special congratulations (Click to reply)
submitted: 6/3/2007 4:59 PM
by: jhencken@rcn.com
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Dear Maestro Zander,
We've been savoring your concerts and lectures for many years. We remember the concert at which you announced your intention of becoming an American citizen, and how very touched we were, especially because of the reasons you expressed. And we just found out that your American citizenship was recently granted.
We wish you many more healthy and joyous years of wonderful teaching and music-making, and intend to be at as many of those concerts as possible.
As we say in our little corner of America: Mazltov! ;-)
YOurs very truly,
Dr. Joel Hencken
Cantor Geoffrey Fine
Watertown, MA |
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Thank You! (Click to reply)
submitted: 5/24/2007 6:11 AM
by: mlayer@tds.net
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Dear Mr. and Mrs. Zander;
I just wanted to say thank you! I had an oppurtunity to see the video on The Art of Possibility twice at the end of a year long leadership conference. This truly was the highpoint of the entire year for me.
I came home purchased your book and have been on cloud nine ever since. I only wish that all of those around me could read and see your inspiration and experience the joy that it has brought to my heart and new life. I do have those at work that think I tripped and hit my head on a rock and it is wonderful. I have a new found oppurtunity with these folks to simply have them look at the brighter side of life when they see the change you have brought to my life.
I only wish that I had found your video and book about twenty five years earlier. Thank you again from deep inside my heart.
Matt Layer |
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Youth Ochestra of the Americas (Click to reply)
submitted: 4/13/2007 6:56 PM
by: sl008m@gmail.com
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Dear Mr. Zander
This is Sandro Leal from Cuba. Last year I had the best time of my life when I play under your baton. I wanted to tell you that I was very happy to be part of the Orchestra of the Americas, not only because of the many wonderful young people I met from all over the Americas but also for having the experience to play with such a beautiful human being as yourself. And I am not trying to win your heart by making all of these comments. I am being very truthful and honest.
I wanted to make a remark about the last concert of the season with the Youth Orchestra of the Americas in England. When I heard from other colleagues that you expressed your concerns before the beginning of the concert about me and the other two young men who couldn't travel with the rest of the orchestra because of not having the proper documents or visa to enter the country, I wept. In part I was a little sad, but soon after I heard the success of the concert I felt as I was there sharing this moment with the orchestra, the audience and the you. The fact that I wasn't there physically didn't mean I was absent from the music.
Music is in our hearts and, such as love, cannot be separated by pollitics or distance. Such is the case, that I have been absent from Cuba and my love ones since 2001 and have never been able to visit since then. But that doesn't mean I a | | | |
